mental illness

What I’ve been up to: Handled my Anxiety!

These are the kind of posts that I should write before taking a HIATUS, but since I’m a really lazy person especially when I’ve got a few days to breath and I tend to watch a lot (I mean, really A LOT) of tvshows I wasn’t able to write a post about my summer holidays — so I’m gonna write something post vacations and this is why I wasn’t been able to post like ANYTHING during the past few weeks.

This month was really good to me. After having between 3 to 5 months of real shit (sorry for the term, but I’ve been really in a bad place these past months) I kind of deserved a little happiness.

So first of all, I took my first TWO-WEEKS of PAID holidays in the middle of AUGUST! *yayyyy me* and I’ve been in my first HALF/SOLO trip. If you’ve been reading my blog you know I suffer of ANXIETY and I can get pretty paranoid. Well, this month I can proudly say that I’ve been able to manage my anxiety pretty well: I TOOK A TWO HOURS FLIGHT ALL BY MYSELF (well, two flights since I had to get back too)! *high five*
I can tell you it wasn’t easy… I’ve been stalking the tracking of the company for the entire previous month and few days before my trip they cancelled one flight MILAN-MANCHESTER (THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MY FLIGHT) and I started sweating. “What if it happens to me?” “There’s only one flight at day!” “God, my summer!” — That is just a few of my thoughts that day. I’ve been able to manage the crisis by talking to someone who knows how it feels to deal with anxiety: Louise, I really want to thank her. She’s been so helpful and I re-read her messages a few times before the flight. Also my fellow book blogger and friend Amy who is been a rock and my partner in crime Anna who shared half of the trip with me and she was so patience for the three months before the flight. Thank you girls!

I’m not boring you with all the crisis that I’ve faced before my flight or it would become an endless post, let’s just say I’ve got a lot of them and I keep bothered the airline with multiple questions, they’ve got a really good customer service. Let’s go straight to the journey!

MY FLIGHT GOT DELAYED for three hours. I was stucked for like 5/6 hours to the airport and with deep breaths I’ve been able to calmed myself while I was praying they didn’t cancel it and my mom was costanting text me with annoying and really no-helpful messages (yes, that’s where I’ve got my anxiety). At 3,30 pm I was finally able to get on my first solo-flight and after that (in a foreign land — I know I write in english, but I’ve got this fear that I will freeze when I have to speak it) I took an hour train to reach my friend who is living in Liverpool in the past few months! It’s such a big deal for me FLIGHT+TRAIN in the UK all by myself — if you know what it means having anxiety maybe you can understand. Sorry, but I’M SO PROUD! *still squealing*

In 7 days I’ve been able to visit Liverpool, Edinburgh and Harry Potter Studios. (I’m so posting a few pictures in my holidays post *coming really soon*) I’ve been obsessed with Scotland from 2 years now (thank Outlander) and I fell in love with Edinburgh instantly even if I’ve been there for just one day and half: the place, the people, the city and the life-style. I need to get back there SOON! It was such a dream.

In few words, I HAD THE BEST HOLIDAYS SINCE YEARS. Buuuh you anxiety!

A few tips if you’re dealing with anxiety but still want to travel:

  1. TALK to people. You are NOT alone with this. There are a lot of people who’s facing mental healt issues. Talk to them and allow them to give you some advice. If you don’t know any of them, you can DM me both on twitter or my email address.
  2. EDUCATE yourself. I always find books really helpful. I can recommend ‘Am I normal yet?’ by Holly Bourne which it’s been a real bible to me to deal with it. Also Louise Gornall wrote a book about mental healt:  Under Rose-Tainted Skies which I just ordered and I will definitely review in the next month.
  3. BE PREPARED. Have a journal for your journey: write every options that you can think about if your PLAN A would cross some setbacks, create your personal itinerary for the trip. Read about every single rules of your airplane company and follow them.
  4. BREATH. Remember to always breath. It’s gonna be fine, there are old people who took a lot of flights and doesn’t even know how to speak english. You can do it.

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